Christopher Ryan: Sex and Relationships

Paul has talked about Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What It Means For Modern Relationships so much since starting his Living 4D podcast series more than three years ago, it was long overdue to check in with the book’s influential author, Christopher Ryan.

Christopher shares the journey to led him to write Sex at Dawn and describes our very human and complicated relationship with sex in this career-spanning Living 4D conversation.

Learn more about Christopher’s work on his website and social media via Twitter and Instagram. Listen to his Tangentially Speaking podcast on Substack.

• How Christopher’s assumptions about the sexes and sex fell apart. (9:05)
• Changing the cultural narrative about sex and coupling by examining hunter-gatherer societies. (17:29)
• Emotional obesity. (38:08)
• Are women now more interested in relationships with other women than men? (44:29)
• Comparing emotional and sexual monogamy. (1:02:33)
• Monogamy versus polygamy versus polyamory. (1:10:02)
• Ethical non-monogamy. (1:16:41)
• How can we use sex to cement interconnected relationships within a community? (1:27:21)
• When Christopher realized he was non-monogamous. (1:36:01)
• Being sexual, an adult and a good example to your kids. (1:40:18)
• Libido: The essential energy for life. (1:51:15)
• Christopher says Dan Savage is responsible the success of Sex at Dawn. (2:11:57)
• Pleasure cannot be monetized. (2:14:54)
• “When you’re lived a false life, either you’re wanting someone to tell you the truth or you’re desperate for them not to…” (2:27:07)

• Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress by Christopher Ryan
• Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth series with Bill Moyers audiobook series
• The Moral Animal: Why We Are The Way We Are by Robert Wright
• Mama’s Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They tell us About Ourselves by Frans de Waal
• Robert Wright on evolutionary psychology
• Voices of the First Day by Robert Lawlor
• The work of Dr. John Sarno and Dr. Clare Graves

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